Sunday, December 25, 2011
Have yourself a Merry
Monday, December 05, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
It's okay, it's okay.
I am having a restoration week, which for me always involves going through old journals to see where I've been and what I may need to be restored in.
Carrying Henry to bed and in his sleep he patted my back and said,"its okay, its okay." This is the day I know that he values me and my impact is felt. Henry and I have spent every afternoon fighting for the last week or so. He has been in my face disobedient, which is actually encouraging-- he knows what he is doing and he is using more appropriate language. He's getting mad at me because he wants his way. When we get to the point of no return (he slaps me or is blatantly disobedient) and I say enough he falls into my arms sobbing then says: "crying, scared" or " crying, mad" or even "impatient". And then I pat his back and say " it's okay, it's okay. I love you. That's why I can not let you disobey.".
He is something else.
I am amazed several things -- first at Henry's incredible character. What a human he is and I'm so fortunate to be the one mothering him. It's stunning how much of life he understands, real life. It has taken me until this past year to see life as cleanly as he always has.
And I'm amazed at how much I've been through -- slapped daily for several years! Others have told me they don't know how I've done it but I always thought I hadn't really done enough. I feared that it would never change but it has. He doesn't slap or bite or scream. He's quite self sufficient and as involved as a teenager would be (he's refusing to go to the movies to see The Muppets with me preferring to stay home and play video games.) but I am tired, I am in need of restoration. We made cookies and played wheel of fortune. Then I lounged in the couch and he got his own lunch.
It's okay, it's okay.
I found this story from September 24, 2001. Henry was 5..
Carrying Henry to bed and in his sleep he patted my back and said,"its okay, its okay." This is the day I know that he values me and my impact is felt. Henry and I have spent every afternoon fighting for the last week or so. He has been in my face disobedient, which is actually encouraging-- he knows what he is doing and he is using more appropriate language. He's getting mad at me because he wants his way. When we get to the point of no return (he slaps me or is blatantly disobedient) and I say enough he falls into my arms sobbing then says: "crying, scared" or " crying, mad" or even "impatient". And then I pat his back and say " it's okay, it's okay. I love you. That's why I can not let you disobey.".
He is something else.
I am amazed several things -- first at Henry's incredible character. What a human he is and I'm so fortunate to be the one mothering him. It's stunning how much of life he understands, real life. It has taken me until this past year to see life as cleanly as he always has.
And I'm amazed at how much I've been through -- slapped daily for several years! Others have told me they don't know how I've done it but I always thought I hadn't really done enough. I feared that it would never change but it has. He doesn't slap or bite or scream. He's quite self sufficient and as involved as a teenager would be (he's refusing to go to the movies to see The Muppets with me preferring to stay home and play video games.) but I am tired, I am in need of restoration. We made cookies and played wheel of fortune. Then I lounged in the couch and he got his own lunch.
It's okay, it's okay.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Napping House
The Napping House was a favorite book of Henry's when he was little. I don't generally like naps, unless the weather is in Florida as it is right now. Warm sun and cool breeze. The perfect napping time is mid afternoon, around three. The windows need to be open and the wind flipping the curtains and clearing out the house of winter tightness. You need to lay on top of the bed, not in it. Across the bed in some angle you never can use in regular sleep makes it even more decadent. To fall asleep you have to read a magazine. A book will not do at all. A book implies commitment and a nap is fleeting. A magazine that is all pictures and fashion won't cut it either. Some Vanity Fair or O magazine or essay in Real Simple is what you want. A little bit of substance, but just a little bit. The glossy pages will fall from your hand and your eyes will gently close and the air will push over you and the busy and the to-do and the just one more thing all will turn into the napping house.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Past
It may be that Henry had a breakthrough this week. On Friday morning we went for a walk with our neighbors the Connolly's. Giles, Henry's school chum, and he were walking and flapping and Julia, Giles' mom, and I were walking and talking. I was telling Julia how Henry had been having my mother and I play Wheel of Fortune and the clue was
B_ST_N
R_D
S_X
And I couldn't get it! Thank goodness for Mimi who figured it out.
As I was telling the story, Henry dropped back and said, "Yesterday."
That's right, yesterday we were playing that game with Mimi.
Henry continued, "The Jackpot round, Mimi and Mom won the clue Boston Red Sox!"
Henry has not, to my knowledge, had a conversation in the past tense. All the past from today's breakfast to when he was four years old, are past. Asking Henry what he did in school today means nothing to him. He doesn't know how to answer. Friday's school events are in a big bucket of 'past events' jumbled together with every time he's ever been to school. Who could tell what you did today if all of your past events were one big event?
We've worked on this, made it part of his IEP, and tried to talk about events that happened earlier today, yesterday or last week.
As usual, Henry applies information in his own unique way and his own unique time.
Not only did he talk about what happened the day before, he dropped in to a conversation that was going on about that event. He joined in the telling of a story.
Life is so consistently beautiful. When things come easily it is easy to miss how consistently beautiful life is.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wrap party
Wrapping up the old year is hard for me -- I'm not ready, I haven't thought it through enough, I didn't accomplish the 'thing', the mysterious 'thing' that will make the year worthwhile.
Which is why it is important to do a year in review no matter what. Just pick up a pen and write down what did happen, what you are glad that happened this year. Suddenly, you'll see the 'thing' buried in the list, showing you what the year has really been about.
I'm so glad for:
- meeting Ivan for the first time.
- seeing Bonnie & Clyde in performance.
- meeting Akshay Shah in the delta sky club in Orlando on my way to Egypt.
- traveling to Alexandria, Cairo, and Ain Soukhna, Egypt.
- working with Greg and Claudia of GW Nunn Adventures.
- working with Connie Rainwater and Nathan Clark at Northland Church.
Which is why it is important to do a year in review no matter what. Just pick up a pen and write down what did happen, what you are glad that happened this year. Suddenly, you'll see the 'thing' buried in the list, showing you what the year has really been about.
I'm so glad for:
- meeting Ivan for the first time.
- seeing Bonnie & Clyde in performance.
- meeting Akshay Shah in the delta sky club in Orlando on my way to Egypt.
- traveling to Alexandria, Cairo, and Ain Soukhna, Egypt.
- working with Greg and Claudia of GW Nunn Adventures.
- working with Connie Rainwater and Nathan Clark at Northland Church.
- working with Storyville Coffee's employees on audience training.
- Henry's teacher Ms. Bender and our amazing Mr. Watkins who is creating a new Middle/High School for our kids.
- Henry's hair curling up and turning dark brown.
- time in Idaho with my Dad and Henry.
- evenings with my Mom.
- my sister's new, exciting job.
- doing Yoga with my cousin Elizabeth on the porch in the morning.
- my yoga teacher Deborah.
- editing JJ Ruscella's beautiful novel Kris
- working with Bobbi Barber on her book about working with your adolescent with Autsim.
- working on Kevin Weaver's book ReOrient.
- my old/new friend Julia moving to College Park.
- studying Arabic.
- speaking French.
- Kareem's amazing hotel connections.
- writing e-newsletters every other week.
- walking with Elizabeth Dean and our neighbors.
- our amazing SAK girls and our gatherings, individually and as a group.
- falling in love.
- girls night with the ladies of Northland.
- tea with TMac.
- brunch with Clare.
- Angela Angel's persistance.
- performing and singing at Capone's.
- Dr. Bob Pierson and his family and their work with Leadership Nexus and getting to be part of it.
- having weekends off.
- performing at Epcot, even on weekends.
- Byron Katie's The Work.
- Henry's teacher Ms. Bender and our amazing Mr. Watkins who is creating a new Middle/High School for our kids.
- Henry's hair curling up and turning dark brown.
- time in Idaho with my Dad and Henry.
- evenings with my Mom.
- my sister's new, exciting job.
- doing Yoga with my cousin Elizabeth on the porch in the morning.
- my yoga teacher Deborah.
- editing JJ Ruscella's beautiful novel Kris
- working with Bobbi Barber on her book about working with your adolescent with Autsim.
- working on Kevin Weaver's book ReOrient.
- my old/new friend Julia moving to College Park.
- studying Arabic.
- speaking French.
- Kareem's amazing hotel connections.
- writing e-newsletters every other week.
- walking with Elizabeth Dean and our neighbors.
- our amazing SAK girls and our gatherings, individually and as a group.
- falling in love.
- girls night with the ladies of Northland.
- tea with TMac.
- brunch with Clare.
- Angela Angel's persistance.
- performing and singing at Capone's.
- Dr. Bob Pierson and his family and their work with Leadership Nexus and getting to be part of it.
- having weekends off.
- performing at Epcot, even on weekends.
- Byron Katie's The Work.
- provision for Henry's education from the government program.
- taking Henry to see his Dad play Papa Noel at Epcot.
- Time with Sarah Lee, Karin & Lisa. Watching each of us make it through such a challenging year.
- sitting in the audience watching my friends perform: Laura Hodos, Sarah Lee, Lisa, Karin, Phran, Di, Cami, Angela, Russell, Phil.
- Lisa and Mark Daniel and their support in getting me to the Idol guest casting bench. What a cool experience.
- walking around the lake with Julia or Morgan or Di or by myself.
- good nights sleeps.
- taking risks.
- finding out I don't love taking risks.
- watching Henry become a man.
- my brother's first home.
- leading seminars on core values and vision statements.
- for being an uninvited wedding guest with Tim Goodwin.
- gathering people magically with Adam, Art or Phil.
- knowing my cousin Margarette in Australia and her amazing prayer life.
- Time with the great guys in my girls lives: Kevin Brune, Dave Ross, Doug Dobbs. Wow, those are some fine men folk.
- Driving 3 giant man-boys from school to Special Olympics Basketball practice for OCA.
- for Silvia Haas and all people with vision who also take action.
Monday, December 20, 2010
From the HigherLife Enews I write
Martha Graham famously said, “Because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.”
Your message that is unique, but your perspective and style of presenting the message are also gifts. The thing that makes your book worth reading (and writing) is the one-of-a-kind infusion of you to the storyline. There has never been another you, and your perspective on a topic is of immense value.
Your writing process is your gift to you. Do you need to take pen to paper? Is it a legal pad, a spiral-bound notebook, or a Post-it® note? Do you need to type in the morning or late at night? Do you enjoy music or silence? Do you write at home or in a busy café?
My favorite poet is William Carlos Williams, and my favorite poem of his is El Hombre:
It’s a strange courage
you give me ancient star:
Shine alone in the sunrise
toward which you lend no part!
Mr. Williams was not only a poet; he was a pediatrician. He wrote his poems on a pad for prescriptions he kept in the pocket of his white lab coat. What a gift his process was! By embracing it, he produced great works, no bigger than a small tablet.
If you obey Martha Graham’s direction, you must produce your work. Publishing your work, sending it out as letters, or posting it to your blog is not a selfish act; rather, it is a selfless act.
You are not feeding your ego by publishing; you are giving the gift of your perspective and your writing to another unique person who longs to hear something fresh, something inventive, something intriguing, or something motivating.
Do not deny the gift of your writing to an audience that is waiting to receive it. — Alice Bass
Your message that is unique, but your perspective and style of presenting the message are also gifts. The thing that makes your book worth reading (and writing) is the one-of-a-kind infusion of you to the storyline. There has never been another you, and your perspective on a topic is of immense value.
Your writing process is your gift to you. Do you need to take pen to paper? Is it a legal pad, a spiral-bound notebook, or a Post-it® note? Do you need to type in the morning or late at night? Do you enjoy music or silence? Do you write at home or in a busy café?
My favorite poet is William Carlos Williams, and my favorite poem of his is El Hombre:
It’s a strange courage
you give me ancient star:
Shine alone in the sunrise
toward which you lend no part!
Mr. Williams was not only a poet; he was a pediatrician. He wrote his poems on a pad for prescriptions he kept in the pocket of his white lab coat. What a gift his process was! By embracing it, he produced great works, no bigger than a small tablet.
If you obey Martha Graham’s direction, you must produce your work. Publishing your work, sending it out as letters, or posting it to your blog is not a selfish act; rather, it is a selfless act.
You are not feeding your ego by publishing; you are giving the gift of your perspective and your writing to another unique person who longs to hear something fresh, something inventive, something intriguing, or something motivating.
Do not deny the gift of your writing to an audience that is waiting to receive it. — Alice Bass
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